Podcast 9: There are no shortcuts, but we can be efficient

Welcome to the My Coffee Break Podcast where Maggie and Daniel - who are married, black belts, business owners and parents - discuss black belt parenting strategies, lessons they've learned from owning a small business, and their love of Songahm Taekwondo.

Where Naomi explains why she doesn't drink coffee.

Black Belt Parenting Tip: How to not be a Helicopter Parent

In our desire to help our kids protect our children from negative experiences, we can rob them of the skills they need to handle negative experiences. 

Instead - be a working partner with our kids so we can help them grow and develop, so they're ready to face the world

If you feel yourself hovering over your child, try asking yourself these questions:

  1. What's the consequence of letting your child fail?
  2. Is it reasonable to expect your child to be able to handle this task or challenge?
  3. Do they need help learning how to do this task?
  4. Is this a time to honor your child's struggle to help them build grit?
  5. Can you wait a minute and see if your child/children work it out themselves?


  1. Let your child struggle
  2. Does your child need accountability or assistance? Make sure you don't "help" when what your child needs is accountability.
  3. Schedule a specific time for tasks like homework, cleaning, play, etc. That helps avoid arguing about whether or not to do it.
  4. Recognize what structure, accountability or space that helps you and your child be successful
  5. Think of yourself as a partner with your child and you're working together to help them be successful

When TO intervene:

  1. High Danger or risk
  2. When their needs are not being met
  3. When your child asks for help - try to figure out if there's a need or danger that they need help figuring out or navigating.

Lessons from owning a Small Business: Avoid Analysis Paralasis

1. When you take action, be sure to measure and track your results so you can continue or change based on your results (not your feelings)

3 Essential Elements of Every Small Business: 

  • Provide your community with a great service (or product)
  • Make sure your community knows you exist
  • Ask for compensation in a way that makes your business sustainable

2. Try thinking about your business as a garden

  • Rich and Healthy Soil 

What are the long term things you must do to make your business sustainable?

Treat people fairly, provide consistent and excellent service, improve yourself

  • Plant seeds
  • Water your garden
  • Recognize that the harvest is a season and winter is a season - and you need to be prepared for both
  • Give yourself a period of rest

Part 3: Where we talk about how much we <3 Martial Arts: Mastering the Basics

Just like sparring is the dynamic application of your techniques, living your daily life is the dynamic application of your beliefs.

  1. As you train in Martial Arts and go through your life, the basics don't change. Mastering yourself and your life are about getting better at the basics as you go through life. 
  2. Give yourself permission to try your best
  3. Give yourself permission to ask questions

You're fears aren't wrong, but they won't get you wear you want to go.

Just because something is basic, doesn't mean you're automatically going to do it perfectly every time without trying.

Try to be efficient, but recognize that there are no real short cuts on the path to success.

It's useful to review the basics - just because you've heard something before doesn't mean you've heard it with the experiences you've had today. You can always learn more - even about the simple things. 

Stay in Touch!

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